Laughing and the Sexes

Since humour is one of the characteristics that most people around the world say that they want in a relationship, I thought it would be a good idea to understand more about the way men and women use humour. It turns out that true laughter is not under our conscious control. Studies indicate something we all knew-that sharing a laugh brings people closer and can even predict compatibility. It is also known to be crucial for long term commitment.


Have you noticed that men and women tend to have different senses of humour? Interestingly women prefer to find mates who make them laugh and men want women who laugh at their jokes. In one study by Bressler and Sigal, 200 people were shown photos paired with either a funny autobiographical statement or non-humorous statements. The women chose the funnier men as potential dates while men showed no preference for funny women.

There are evolutionary and explanations of how and why any individual finds anything funny. Humour occurs when the brain recognizes a pattern that surprises it, and that recognition of this sort is rewarded with the experience of the humorous response which is announced as laughter. Pattern recognition has been important to human evolution: An ability to recognize patterns instantly and unconsciously has been a fundamental weapon in the cognitive arsenal of human beings. The humorous reward has encouraged the development of such faculties, leading to the unique perceptual and intellectual abilities of our species.

It turns out that both men and women laugh more at men. Women laugh more in actual quantity of laughter. Both men and women have equal capacity to generate humour and to appreciate humour. It turns out though that women tend to laugh at statements that are not particularly funny as a form of social lubricant. Men tend to tell formulaic jokes, use slapstick and hostile humour while women tend to tell more funny stories about real life. Story telling humour supports group identity and solidarity. In mixed groups women tend to tease more but use less self-depreciating humour and men use teasing more with their buddies and use more self-depreciating humour when the women are around.

It appears that women are drawn to ‘impressive performers’ in a number of categories and humour is one of them. In the great chase of the evolutionary imperative, humour signals intelligence, creativity, playfulness and openness to experience. In fact, those who score highest on the scale of general intelligence also scored highest on the ability to draw funny images and come up with humorous statements in a study of 200 people at the University of Colorado. In another study at the University of California, Los Angeles, women showed a preference for funny men when they were ovulating supporting the large body of research that in short term relationships women prefer men with signs of good genes. In the long run, our brains click in and we prefer men who would make good life partners.