Just Ask
Spinal or Epidural Anaesthesia (3 minutes)
Although I cannot comment on this as a birth delivery anaesthetic because I had natural child births, I had this type of anaethesis for my cancer surgery and it was far superior to the general anaesthesia that I experienced in other surgeries. I came out of the surgery with less disorientation and fewer after effects from the chemicals that would have affected my brain. I really preferred this and its ability to supress pain afterward is unparallelled.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Culture and Genes working together
Cultural differences have manifested themselves in the DNA of distinct, regional populations.
According to a study in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences Journal released in October, 2009, both culture and genes drive evolutionary outcomes. The study compared individualistic and collectivist societies around the world. It looked at the interplay of two sets of data, one genetic and the other cultural across 29 countries. The researchers found that most people in collectivist societies have a specific mutation within a gene regulating the transport of serotonin, a neurochemical which profoundly affects mood. In China and other east Asian nations up to 80 of the population carries this ‘short’ allele or variant of a portion of DNA known as 5-HTTLPR. This allele is strongly linked with a range of negative emotion states like anxiety, depression and the tendency to stay out of harm’s way (risk aversion). Collectivist cultures help to buffer individuals from these emotional difficulties with support systems. "Such support seems to buffer vulnerable individuals from the environmental risks or stressors that serve as triggers to depressive episodes," said Chiao. The fact that the United States and Europe have higher rates of anxiety and mood disorders despite having the L allele may come from the stress of living in highly individualistic cultures, she suggested.
The study suggests that together culture and genes may have interacted to shape the process of natural selection tailoring the individuals helping them to fit in the societies into which they were born. Some societies banded together toward collectivist norms to stave off threats like disease while others took a more individualistic approach.
"We demonstrate that evolution is operating at least two levels," said Joan Chiao, a professor at Northwestern University in Chicago and lead author of the study. "One is biological, which is well understood. But there is also a level where cultural traits may have been selected for themselves, emerging in congruence with the selection of different types of genes."
One good example of the “culture-gene co-evolutionary theory” explains lactose intolerance. Over time, milk consumption led to both the genetic selection of protein genes in cattle and a gene in humans that encodes lactase the protein that breaks down the lactose in dairy. Cultures which drank milk have more members with the ability to digest it.
According to a study in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences Journal released in October, 2009, both culture and genes drive evolutionary outcomes. The study compared individualistic and collectivist societies around the world. It looked at the interplay of two sets of data, one genetic and the other cultural across 29 countries. The researchers found that most people in collectivist societies have a specific mutation within a gene regulating the transport of serotonin, a neurochemical which profoundly affects mood. In China and other east Asian nations up to 80 of the population carries this ‘short’ allele or variant of a portion of DNA known as 5-HTTLPR. This allele is strongly linked with a range of negative emotion states like anxiety, depression and the tendency to stay out of harm’s way (risk aversion). Collectivist cultures help to buffer individuals from these emotional difficulties with support systems. "Such support seems to buffer vulnerable individuals from the environmental risks or stressors that serve as triggers to depressive episodes," said Chiao. The fact that the United States and Europe have higher rates of anxiety and mood disorders despite having the L allele may come from the stress of living in highly individualistic cultures, she suggested.
The study suggests that together culture and genes may have interacted to shape the process of natural selection tailoring the individuals helping them to fit in the societies into which they were born. Some societies banded together toward collectivist norms to stave off threats like disease while others took a more individualistic approach.
"We demonstrate that evolution is operating at least two levels," said Joan Chiao, a professor at Northwestern University in Chicago and lead author of the study. "One is biological, which is well understood. But there is also a level where cultural traits may have been selected for themselves, emerging in congruence with the selection of different types of genes."
One good example of the “culture-gene co-evolutionary theory” explains lactose intolerance. Over time, milk consumption led to both the genetic selection of protein genes in cattle and a gene in humans that encodes lactase the protein that breaks down the lactose in dairy. Cultures which drank milk have more members with the ability to digest it.
Do the Hardest Thing- Face Truth
Care no more for the opinion of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.
Katherine Mansfield
Katherine Mansfield
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Memory on Estrogen
Working memory is short term information processing memory and it is dependent upon the levels of dopamine in the brain. Drugs like caffeine and Ritalin mimic dopamine to help people concentrate. Estrogen may actually help the brain trigger the release of dopamine. A new study also indicated that cognition is tied to dopamine levels in the brain. This may affect cognitive sharpness at various times in a woman’s cycle.
24 women were studied at Berkley in California. Some were naturally lower in estrogen and those women had difficulty with complicated working memory tasks like repeating a series of 5 numbers in reverse. When the tests were repeated during ovulation (10-12 days after menstruation) and estrogen was at its highest, they did much better on the same test. Women who had naturally higher levels of estrogen demonstrated the reverse pattern.
Dopamine in the prefrontal lobs of the brain controls the flow of information from other parts of the brain for integration. What on earth does this mean? If I were to hazard a tongue in cheek guess, it means that smart girls need to be dumbed down by nature to get them to continue the species.
24 women were studied at Berkley in California. Some were naturally lower in estrogen and those women had difficulty with complicated working memory tasks like repeating a series of 5 numbers in reverse. When the tests were repeated during ovulation (10-12 days after menstruation) and estrogen was at its highest, they did much better on the same test. Women who had naturally higher levels of estrogen demonstrated the reverse pattern.
Dopamine in the prefrontal lobs of the brain controls the flow of information from other parts of the brain for integration. What on earth does this mean? If I were to hazard a tongue in cheek guess, it means that smart girls need to be dumbed down by nature to get them to continue the species.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Speed Dating
Just Ask
As with every new phenomenon that involves human behaviour, psychologists are studying speed dating. In the world of dating, women are much choosier than men and that has been verified in the world of speed dating as well.
Two psychologists from Northwestern University, Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick wondered how to explain that. The usual explanation is that in an evolutionary sense it was far more dangerous for women to get involved with strange men than it was for men with new women. Historically women had the risk of pregnancy, violence and captivity.
Finkel and Eastwick wondered if there could be another explanation for the women’s selectivity. In a normal speed dating situation women are seated and men approach them. Finkel and Eastwood decided to reverse that in half of the 15 speed dating sessions that they tested involving 350 people. Each person had about 12 dates. The participants rated their own self confidence, the romantic appeal of each date and romantic chemistry. When woman made the rounds and men sat both sexes were equally choosy. It also turned out that those who made the rounds, going from one date to the other rather than sitting felt more self confidence than those who sat.
I am not quite sure how to interpret what that might mean for anyone reading but just knowing it might help you if you are planning to go speed dating.
As with every new phenomenon that involves human behaviour, psychologists are studying speed dating. In the world of dating, women are much choosier than men and that has been verified in the world of speed dating as well.
Two psychologists from Northwestern University, Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick wondered how to explain that. The usual explanation is that in an evolutionary sense it was far more dangerous for women to get involved with strange men than it was for men with new women. Historically women had the risk of pregnancy, violence and captivity.
Finkel and Eastwick wondered if there could be another explanation for the women’s selectivity. In a normal speed dating situation women are seated and men approach them. Finkel and Eastwood decided to reverse that in half of the 15 speed dating sessions that they tested involving 350 people. Each person had about 12 dates. The participants rated their own self confidence, the romantic appeal of each date and romantic chemistry. When woman made the rounds and men sat both sexes were equally choosy. It also turned out that those who made the rounds, going from one date to the other rather than sitting felt more self confidence than those who sat.
I am not quite sure how to interpret what that might mean for anyone reading but just knowing it might help you if you are planning to go speed dating.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Our Real Work in Life
The Real Work
The real work
It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work.
And that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
It is the stream that is that impeded that sings.
-Wendell Berry
The real work
It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work.
And that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
It is the stream that is that impeded that sings.
-Wendell Berry
Laughing and the Sexes
Since humour is one of the characteristics that most people around the world say that they want in a relationship, I thought it would be a good idea to understand more about the way men and women use humour. It turns out that true laughter is not under our conscious control. Studies indicate something we all knew-that sharing a laugh brings people closer and can even predict compatibility. It is also known to be crucial for long term commitment.
Have you noticed that men and women tend to have different senses of humour? Interestingly women prefer to find mates who make them laugh and men want women who laugh at their jokes. In one study by Bressler and Sigal, 200 people were shown photos paired with either a funny autobiographical statement or non-humorous statements. The women chose the funnier men as potential dates while men showed no preference for funny women.
There are evolutionary and explanations of how and why any individual finds anything funny. Humour occurs when the brain recognizes a pattern that surprises it, and that recognition of this sort is rewarded with the experience of the humorous response which is announced as laughter. Pattern recognition has been important to human evolution: An ability to recognize patterns instantly and unconsciously has been a fundamental weapon in the cognitive arsenal of human beings. The humorous reward has encouraged the development of such faculties, leading to the unique perceptual and intellectual abilities of our species.
It turns out that both men and women laugh more at men. Women laugh more in actual quantity of laughter. Both men and women have equal capacity to generate humour and to appreciate humour. It turns out though that women tend to laugh at statements that are not particularly funny as a form of social lubricant. Men tend to tell formulaic jokes, use slapstick and hostile humour while women tend to tell more funny stories about real life. Story telling humour supports group identity and solidarity. In mixed groups women tend to tease more but use less self-depreciating humour and men use teasing more with their buddies and use more self-depreciating humour when the women are around.
It appears that women are drawn to ‘impressive performers’ in a number of categories and humour is one of them. In the great chase of the evolutionary imperative, humour signals intelligence, creativity, playfulness and openness to experience. In fact, those who score highest on the scale of general intelligence also scored highest on the ability to draw funny images and come up with humorous statements in a study of 200 people at the University of Colorado. In another study at the University of California, Los Angeles, women showed a preference for funny men when they were ovulating supporting the large body of research that in short term relationships women prefer men with signs of good genes. In the long run, our brains click in and we prefer men who would make good life partners.
Have you noticed that men and women tend to have different senses of humour? Interestingly women prefer to find mates who make them laugh and men want women who laugh at their jokes. In one study by Bressler and Sigal, 200 people were shown photos paired with either a funny autobiographical statement or non-humorous statements. The women chose the funnier men as potential dates while men showed no preference for funny women.
There are evolutionary and explanations of how and why any individual finds anything funny. Humour occurs when the brain recognizes a pattern that surprises it, and that recognition of this sort is rewarded with the experience of the humorous response which is announced as laughter. Pattern recognition has been important to human evolution: An ability to recognize patterns instantly and unconsciously has been a fundamental weapon in the cognitive arsenal of human beings. The humorous reward has encouraged the development of such faculties, leading to the unique perceptual and intellectual abilities of our species.
It turns out that both men and women laugh more at men. Women laugh more in actual quantity of laughter. Both men and women have equal capacity to generate humour and to appreciate humour. It turns out though that women tend to laugh at statements that are not particularly funny as a form of social lubricant. Men tend to tell formulaic jokes, use slapstick and hostile humour while women tend to tell more funny stories about real life. Story telling humour supports group identity and solidarity. In mixed groups women tend to tease more but use less self-depreciating humour and men use teasing more with their buddies and use more self-depreciating humour when the women are around.
It appears that women are drawn to ‘impressive performers’ in a number of categories and humour is one of them. In the great chase of the evolutionary imperative, humour signals intelligence, creativity, playfulness and openness to experience. In fact, those who score highest on the scale of general intelligence also scored highest on the ability to draw funny images and come up with humorous statements in a study of 200 people at the University of Colorado. In another study at the University of California, Los Angeles, women showed a preference for funny men when they were ovulating supporting the large body of research that in short term relationships women prefer men with signs of good genes. In the long run, our brains click in and we prefer men who would make good life partners.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Examples of Passive Aggressive Behaviour
The following 5 minute video is full of examples of passive aggressive actions in a discussion format.
A Better Work Out
A Far Better Work Out
How much time, money and energy are spent at the gym? It is certainly in vogue. It is good for your health and many people hope that it is good for a social life as well. A daily visit there has become part of a search for a fountain of youth and beauty but has it brought us any closer to our own humanity? Has it actually helped you make any meaningful connections? Could it be that it is derailing and distracting the very people who are meant to change this world for the better? By isolating individuals in their own solitary search for beauty and fitness, in gritty non-communicative self absorption where the hours are passed without real human connectedness or progress beyond the size of the biceps or gluts, we may be diverting the very power needed to make a difference.
Could there be a better way?
What if instead of spending time, money and energy at the gym we all found some of our exercise another way? Can you imagine a world in which all that time, effort, energy, devotion and exertion were spent in the community helping one another?
I think it might be a real work out if we all helped our aging neighbours with their gardening, their snow shovelling and their roofing woes. At a time when many people are losing their homes and the faceless corporation are causing the economic meltdown couldn’t we begin to bail out our own neighbours- not necessarily financially- but with good kind help? Climbing ladders to clean out eaves troughs (gutters), digging a garden bed, or shovelling snow is certainly a challenging work out that could leave you feeling physically and emotionally great. Here is a radical idea: Instead of paying for your gym membership next winter, buy a snow blower and every time it snows dig out your neighbours’ driveways and walkways as your form of exercise and public service. Perhaps you live where there is no winter- what about buying a leaf blower and helping out or cutting the scraggly fronds from some palms trees? I submit that it might be a great work out to help the old man down the street clear out his garage or help that single mother cut her lawn. Instead of spending the hour at the gym in isolation you might meet your neighbours, improve your neighbourhood and learn to connect with real people.
In a world where isolation and loneliness are epidemic we need to change something fundamental even if we start small. Next time you are out for a run on garbage day, why not take someone’s garbage cans back from the curb or pick up some garbage that is flying around?
We could find out if people at the local cancer center, the dialysis center or even day care center need help. Define the kind of physical work out that you want and how much time you are willing to spend and offer your assistance. Leave a note on a community message board that says: Looking for a one hour work out. Will lift and tote for one hour no cost or strings attached. You must be (insert the type of person you are willing to help here- such as –a cancer patient, suffering from Alzheimer’s, or be a widower ). Please call: (insert your cell phone # here).
For your own sake, for the community’s sake and for your own spirit take back the phrase that once was just a human expression and “Just do it”
How much time, money and energy are spent at the gym? It is certainly in vogue. It is good for your health and many people hope that it is good for a social life as well. A daily visit there has become part of a search for a fountain of youth and beauty but has it brought us any closer to our own humanity? Has it actually helped you make any meaningful connections? Could it be that it is derailing and distracting the very people who are meant to change this world for the better? By isolating individuals in their own solitary search for beauty and fitness, in gritty non-communicative self absorption where the hours are passed without real human connectedness or progress beyond the size of the biceps or gluts, we may be diverting the very power needed to make a difference.
Could there be a better way?
What if instead of spending time, money and energy at the gym we all found some of our exercise another way? Can you imagine a world in which all that time, effort, energy, devotion and exertion were spent in the community helping one another?
I think it might be a real work out if we all helped our aging neighbours with their gardening, their snow shovelling and their roofing woes. At a time when many people are losing their homes and the faceless corporation are causing the economic meltdown couldn’t we begin to bail out our own neighbours- not necessarily financially- but with good kind help? Climbing ladders to clean out eaves troughs (gutters), digging a garden bed, or shovelling snow is certainly a challenging work out that could leave you feeling physically and emotionally great. Here is a radical idea: Instead of paying for your gym membership next winter, buy a snow blower and every time it snows dig out your neighbours’ driveways and walkways as your form of exercise and public service. Perhaps you live where there is no winter- what about buying a leaf blower and helping out or cutting the scraggly fronds from some palms trees? I submit that it might be a great work out to help the old man down the street clear out his garage or help that single mother cut her lawn. Instead of spending the hour at the gym in isolation you might meet your neighbours, improve your neighbourhood and learn to connect with real people.
In a world where isolation and loneliness are epidemic we need to change something fundamental even if we start small. Next time you are out for a run on garbage day, why not take someone’s garbage cans back from the curb or pick up some garbage that is flying around?
We could find out if people at the local cancer center, the dialysis center or even day care center need help. Define the kind of physical work out that you want and how much time you are willing to spend and offer your assistance. Leave a note on a community message board that says: Looking for a one hour work out. Will lift and tote for one hour no cost or strings attached. You must be (insert the type of person you are willing to help here- such as –a cancer patient, suffering from Alzheimer’s, or be a widower ). Please call: (insert your cell phone # here).
For your own sake, for the community’s sake and for your own spirit take back the phrase that once was just a human expression and “Just do it”
Passive Agressive
What Does it Mean to be Passive Aggressive?
When a person demonstrates a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and behaviours like procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, and a deliberate failure to accomplish their share of tasks they can be exhibiting a Passive Aggressive personality disorder. Noncompliance does not necessarily indicate true passive aggressive behavior, which is the manifestation of emotions that have been repressed based on a self-imposed need for acceptance.
Signs include:
Being chronically late and forgetting things to exert control or to punish
Fear of dependency
Fear of intimacy and inability to trust.
Fear of competition and then nonperformance in work teams
Blaming others, victimization response, sullenness, depression, anger.
It may start in childhood in an environment where honest expression of feelings is forbidden so that children repress or deny their feelings and use other channels to express their frustration. Dealing with such a person in adulthood can be frustrating and make you doubt yourself. They are manipulative and they create a situation which induces self doubt.
When a person demonstrates a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and behaviours like procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, and a deliberate failure to accomplish their share of tasks they can be exhibiting a Passive Aggressive personality disorder. Noncompliance does not necessarily indicate true passive aggressive behavior, which is the manifestation of emotions that have been repressed based on a self-imposed need for acceptance.
Signs include:
Being chronically late and forgetting things to exert control or to punish
Fear of dependency
Fear of intimacy and inability to trust.
Fear of competition and then nonperformance in work teams
Blaming others, victimization response, sullenness, depression, anger.
It may start in childhood in an environment where honest expression of feelings is forbidden so that children repress or deny their feelings and use other channels to express their frustration. Dealing with such a person in adulthood can be frustrating and make you doubt yourself. They are manipulative and they create a situation which induces self doubt.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The Many Definitions of Beauty
I have been thinking about beauty lately and what the beauty industry and advertising industry have done to young women. Sure there is the Dove campaign, there are the Vagina Monologues, self-esteem workshops etc. but I think that we are missing an important point.
In my lifetime the definitions of beauty have expanded. When I was a young woman there was a very narrow definition of beauty. It was an upper crust white woman with long straight blonde hair. The ad of the time said it all: "Blondes have more fun". Even the ones who I did not think were beautiful had a confidence in being on the right team that helped others see them as beautiful and I learned something from that radiation of confidence.
Everyone who was not in that image was not beautiful by societal standards. When I look through a magazine today, it gives me joy to see black women, Indian women, white women, and faces that were never represented before. Just take the time to look at the diversity of people and you will be encouraged too because you will find someone who looks a lot like you.
That's because you are beautiful. Now you get to choose if it will be skin deep or soul deep by your actions and relationships with other people. I'll be cheering you on!
In my lifetime the definitions of beauty have expanded. When I was a young woman there was a very narrow definition of beauty. It was an upper crust white woman with long straight blonde hair. The ad of the time said it all: "Blondes have more fun". Even the ones who I did not think were beautiful had a confidence in being on the right team that helped others see them as beautiful and I learned something from that radiation of confidence.
Everyone who was not in that image was not beautiful by societal standards. When I look through a magazine today, it gives me joy to see black women, Indian women, white women, and faces that were never represented before. Just take the time to look at the diversity of people and you will be encouraged too because you will find someone who looks a lot like you.
That's because you are beautiful. Now you get to choose if it will be skin deep or soul deep by your actions and relationships with other people. I'll be cheering you on!
Peace and Beauty in a Foreign Landscape
A Japanese landscape and music for a peaceful seven minutes.
Where Do Ideas Come From?
This is actually an ad with something interesting to say about an approach to life. Take a look!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The Biggest Key to Success In Life
Psychologists have long known that a major key to success in life is the ability to 'delay gratification'. What does that mean? Also called deferred gratification it just means being able to wait for something you want. It manifests as being able to save for a purchase, do what needs to be done to get a paper in on time, or not eating the second piece of cake. This charming presentation makes the issue and the struggle clear.
Wait it Out- Imogen Heap
4 minutes- When you find yourself in the 'wretched hollow' the answer really is to wait it out. From interviews with many, many women and from personal experience, what you do not think you can survive- you do survive, when your heart is crushed - it is hard to believe that it will find its proper shape again and that healing comes.
Suppressing Cravings for Food: Men vs. Women
World wide more women than men suffer from eating disorders and obesity. The following study sheds some light on why that might be the case. A study was done at Brookhaven National Laboratory by Gene-Jack Wang on inhibition of cravings for food in hungry people. A PET scan was used to see the brain activation in people who had been fasting when they were exposed to the sight, smell and taste of their favourite foods. Some subjects were also asked to try to ignore their cravings for food.
The brain scans indicated that men were more successful in inhibiting their cravings. By choosing to ignore the food craving, they could actually suppress their cravings and alter their brain metabolism reducing the activation in their para-limbic and limbic regions of the brain. These areas control awareness of hunger and desire for food. The men reported that they felt less desire for food when they tried to ignore their hunger. The women in the study did not show such a decrease in activation and reported no decrease in hunger no matter how they tried to control the urge. Women’s brains also showed a much greater response to their favourite foods when their brains were imaged. These findings may shed light on the reasons that women struggle to maintain their weight.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Learned Helplessness
Learned Helplessness
Many years ago, I began to follow the work of a man who would later become the father of Positive Psychology in America. His name is Martin Seligman and he works at the University of Pennsylvania. The theory of learned helplessness indicates that when people and animals are repeatedly faced with aversive situations in which they can exercise no control they learn not to struggle against the situation after a while. In other words, they learn to try to endure the situation rather than fight against it. This often leads to observable depression. It turns out that this reaction of tortured acceptance can generalize to other situations in their lives so that they begin to react to all adversity by giving up.
This is far more likely when people have a mental style of explaining the events pessimistically. These people see negative events as permanent. They believe that events will never change and that they can have no impact on forcing them to change. They may subconsciously or consciously believe that it is their fault or that they are fundamentally defective. The symptoms of depression associated with Learned helplessness can include: depressed mood, loss of interest in life or previous hobbies, passivity, inward hostility, weight loss/ weight gain, social and sexual dysfunction, and a sense of worthlessness. It affects motivation and achievement as well.
Learned helplessness can have a major impact on health and psychological functioning especially in terms of behaviours that maintain health. The best solution to learned helplessness appears to be Cognitive Behavioural counselling which can challenge the assumptions so that individuals may have breakthroughs in the way they consider their circumstances. The counselling can challenge the thinking patterns that say that the condition is permanent or that one has no alternative possible behaviours.
Seligman believes that much of life is our interpretation of events and that we can learn to interpret them to gain greater happiness. He is currently doing extensive work with Positive Psychology. He has a website called : Authentic Happiness.com and there you can log on and participate in his research by filling out any questionnaires that you might like to fill in. Some consider attachment to loved ones, life events, successes and failures that you have experienced and a wide variety of other measurement instruments. Doing some may lead you to understand yourself a bit better and perhaps furnish a few clues to your own functioning.
Many years ago, I began to follow the work of a man who would later become the father of Positive Psychology in America. His name is Martin Seligman and he works at the University of Pennsylvania. The theory of learned helplessness indicates that when people and animals are repeatedly faced with aversive situations in which they can exercise no control they learn not to struggle against the situation after a while. In other words, they learn to try to endure the situation rather than fight against it. This often leads to observable depression. It turns out that this reaction of tortured acceptance can generalize to other situations in their lives so that they begin to react to all adversity by giving up.
This is far more likely when people have a mental style of explaining the events pessimistically. These people see negative events as permanent. They believe that events will never change and that they can have no impact on forcing them to change. They may subconsciously or consciously believe that it is their fault or that they are fundamentally defective. The symptoms of depression associated with Learned helplessness can include: depressed mood, loss of interest in life or previous hobbies, passivity, inward hostility, weight loss/ weight gain, social and sexual dysfunction, and a sense of worthlessness. It affects motivation and achievement as well.
Learned helplessness can have a major impact on health and psychological functioning especially in terms of behaviours that maintain health. The best solution to learned helplessness appears to be Cognitive Behavioural counselling which can challenge the assumptions so that individuals may have breakthroughs in the way they consider their circumstances. The counselling can challenge the thinking patterns that say that the condition is permanent or that one has no alternative possible behaviours.
Seligman believes that much of life is our interpretation of events and that we can learn to interpret them to gain greater happiness. He is currently doing extensive work with Positive Psychology. He has a website called : Authentic Happiness.com and there you can log on and participate in his research by filling out any questionnaires that you might like to fill in. Some consider attachment to loved ones, life events, successes and failures that you have experienced and a wide variety of other measurement instruments. Doing some may lead you to understand yourself a bit better and perhaps furnish a few clues to your own functioning.
Life Lessons From A Rock Climber
Matthew Child’s 9 Life Lessons
What lessons can help someone who is clinging to the side of a mountain not only survive but finish the climb and conquer the summit? Mathew Childs, a digital branding expert and rock climber shares what he has learned from his passion for challenging himself to make very difficult climbs.
Rock climbing seems like a very apt metaphor for some of the experiences we encounter over the courses of our lives.
What lessons can help someone who is clinging to the side of a mountain not only survive but finish the climb and conquer the summit? Mathew Childs, a digital branding expert and rock climber shares what he has learned from his passion for challenging himself to make very difficult climbs.
Rock climbing seems like a very apt metaphor for some of the experiences we encounter over the courses of our lives.
Can You or Anyone Buy Happiness?
Research is clear that the best predictor of a wide variety of outcomes for the human experience is socio- economic status- to a point. Poverty causes many practical problems that money solves- to a point. The video below features Benjamin Wallace, a journalist who convinced his employer to fund his adventures in experiencing some of the most expensive products in the world. Can happiness be bought? Bejamin Wallace's honest evaluations might surprise you.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Can a Deaf Woman Teach Us How to Listen?
The Grammy-winning percussionist and composer Evelyn Glennie, became almost completely deaf by the age of 12. This loss of hearing brought her a profound understanding of and connection to the music she loves. Can a deaf percussionist teach us how to listen? How can a musician who has almost no hearing play with such sensitivity and compassion? Music involves much more than simply letting sound waves hit your eardrums. Evelyn Glennie challenges us to learn were music comes from. It is far more than simply translating from score to instrument to audience.
I am hoping that we can take some of her lessons and learn how to truly hear people as well.
Making Lemonaid out of Lemons
Just a cliche? Maybe but what could it hurt to give the advice these kids are offering a try?
Melody Maker 2010 Part 1 from cindy dacua-ellazar on Vimeo.
Melody Maker 2010 Part 1 from cindy dacua-ellazar on Vimeo.
Triumphing over Depression
Sherwin Nuland is an author and speaker on the big topics like life and death, the mind, morality, aging and the human spirit. He also been a practicing surgeon for 30 years and treated more than 10,000 patients. His 1995 book How We Die: Reflections on Life's Final Chapter demythologizes the process of dying. Through stories of real patients and his own family, he examines the seven most common causes of death: old age, cancer, AIDS, Alzheimer's, accidents, heart disease and stroke, and their effects. The book, one of 10 he has written, won the National Book Award and spent 34 weeks on the New York Times best-seller list. His latest book is The Art of Aging: A Doctor's Prescription for Well-Being.
This is the sort of man that we perceive as having it all together. In the 22 minute talk that follows Sherwin Nuland explodes the idea that he had an easy life. In fact, he shares the story of his deep depression and hospitalization in the 1970s. In the course of his talk (which does include some profanity) he talks about depression, obsession, marital breakdown and electro shock therapy. I found it interesting and inspiring to know that he made a full recovery, went back to being a successful surgeon, and has achieved the life that we assumed he had in the first few sentences of the introduction above.
This is a first hand account of the deepest, most severe form of depression and the road to wellness and productivity.
This is the sort of man that we perceive as having it all together. In the 22 minute talk that follows Sherwin Nuland explodes the idea that he had an easy life. In fact, he shares the story of his deep depression and hospitalization in the 1970s. In the course of his talk (which does include some profanity) he talks about depression, obsession, marital breakdown and electro shock therapy. I found it interesting and inspiring to know that he made a full recovery, went back to being a successful surgeon, and has achieved the life that we assumed he had in the first few sentences of the introduction above.
This is a first hand account of the deepest, most severe form of depression and the road to wellness and productivity.
Self Compassion
For the last 20 years parents and educators have tried to instill self esteem. Sometimes though, we meet people who have so much 'self esteem' that they are quite brutal on the self esteem of others.
Duke professor Mark Leary, a neuroscientist and psychologist, shares the concept of self esteem and self compassion in this short, 3 minute video. He illuminates why self compassion is the better quality.
What do you think?
Duke professor Mark Leary, a neuroscientist and psychologist, shares the concept of self esteem and self compassion in this short, 3 minute video. He illuminates why self compassion is the better quality.
What do you think?
Saturday, April 17, 2010
What is the difference between Healthy Love and Toxic Love?
Most of us have experienced the exquisite agonies of love. In fact, some of us are convinced that the ‘agony’ is the ecstasy of love or at least that it signals ‘deep and true’ love. In fact, research indicates (and healthy people confirm) that excess agonies indicate something far different which is perhaps not real love at all.
1. Real love includes self development first. A stable relationship with who you are as a person precedes loving another. Toxic love is development or obsession with the relationship without regard to your own individual sufficiency.
2. Real love wants everyone to grow. It gives love room.
Toxic love needs to derive security from the relationship. It finds comfort in sameness. Intensity of need is seen as proof of love when such intensity may really be fear, insecurity or loneliness. For example if (s)he says he will kill himself without you, this is most likely because (s)he is insecure and cannot imagine living without you.
3. Healthy love allows for separate interests, other friends and encourages you to maintain other meaningful relationships. Many and diverse relationships and personal development enrich healthy love. Toxic love requires total involvement resulting in a limited social life, the neglect old friends and of other interests. People in toxic love have a need to isolate and be alone together.
4. Healthy love encourages each other's expanding. It is secure in its own worth. In toxic love there is a preoccupation with the other's behavior and a fear of the other changing. This is frequently seen when one of the spouses gets a new job, or promotion. Anything that changes or threatens the partner’s security causes anxiety.
5. Appropriate trust is present in healthy love relationships. Jealousy, possessiveness, and fear of competition are marks of toxic love. All of these behaviors are designed to protect the "supply" of the toxic love.
6. People who are in love in a healthy way, compromise, negotiate and taking turns at leading. There is a balance within the relationship. Toxic love is characterized by power plays for control, blaming, passive/aggressive manipulation.
7. Embracing of each other's individuality is a healthy sign. Trying to change someone so they fit your image of what they should look like is a sign of toxicity.
8. Reality can sometimes be the pits but it is the only safe place to reside. Good relationships deal with all aspects of reality. Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant are toxic.
9. Self-care by both partners is another sign of good health. One person’s emotional state is not dependent on other's mood. In toxic love the expectation is that one partner will fix and rescue the other.
10. The healthiest love is concern about partner but able to letting go and maintain a level of detachment or individuality. Toxic love is enmeshed. There are no clear boundaries between yourself and your partner. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is upset you cannot function for the rest of the day.
11. Within the healthy relationship sex is free choice growing out of caring & friendship. Toxic love relationships demonstrate pressure around sex due to insecurity, fear and need for immediate gratification.
12. Healthy partnerships enable each other to enjoy being alone. They like being different from their partner and having their own interests. Toxic love is unable to endure separation and it clings. They are fearful of the partner having their “own thing” because they fear it means that they are unfulfilled.
If you have something to add or something you would like to discuss, I would love to hear from you!
A Man's Observations on Romance
John Mayer, sensitve musician and student of life has observed the power and powerlessness of language over the course of relationships. He has an interesting perspective that we all need to hear. I hope you enjoy.
Online Dating
This is a two minute video clip of Behavioural Economist, Dan Ariely explaining why online dating is often disappointing. Can you believe that it takes a Behavioural Economist to help us understand ourselves? I'm just glad we are getting to the root of things that have stumped us for a long time!
A Brother's Love
How is it that some people can take a tragedy and turn it into something that betters humanity? This video, again from TED is about a brother's love. When his brother was diagnosed with ALS Jamie Heywood set his mind and heart to making a difference. This video is about 17 minutes long and it shows how Jamie and some colleagues turned Steven Heywood's journey into a social networking medical program that tracks the symptoms of many diseases and has the potential of changing how medicine treats disease and just as importantly how it treats patients. Change happens when someone cares enough to make it happen.This is inspirational.
Just Ask - A Shared Basic Understanding of Depression
On this site, I am hoping to share some of what I have learned in the course of my life and education. Together we will explore a wide variety of topics. I often find that defining the terms so that we have a common understanding of thing is helpful.
This video is a basic primer on depression and its variants. If this is of interest take a look.
This video is a basic primer on depression and its variants. If this is of interest take a look.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Sharing a Little Soup
Sharing a little Soup
In a previous post, I shared that I had a cancer surgery in December of 2007. (It was actually 2006 so please consider this a correction and apology). I have another story to share from that experience.
When I was checking in for my surgery, losing my street clothes in favour of one of those fashionable hospital gowns and getting my intravenous line inserted I shared a room with a woman who was getting ready for her surgery as well.
It was then that I realized the gift I have been given. Some people are gifted with great intelligence or beauty, some have the ability to run marathons or lift great weights but my gift is unique: I am seldom nervous before surgery. As gifts go, this is a pretty good one to have if you have to live a life that will require a few surgeries. In truth it is probably just some form of resignation (like the deer in headlights) but not everyone has this gift. The lady in the room with me was seized by dread. We did not have much time together but we talked, I comforted her as much as possible and promised to see her on the other side (of the surgery of course).
One of the first bedridden nights after my surgery, unable to sleep, I started to read a book given to me by my friend Colleen. It was Chicken Soup for the Christmas Soul. (When giving a book to a friend who will have surgery or who is in the hospital this sort of book with short stories is ideal because they are easy to read and not too taxing. Just adjust the kind of book to their particular tastes.) No matter how hoaky you may consider that kind of literature to be, I loved it at that moment. Little inspirational stories made me laugh and cry and touched me. It also got my mind off my agonies for a few minutes at a time. That – is a real gift.
As I related in my previous story, I was required to walk the hallways after my surgery. With the morphine drip in my spine and a hole in my body, I was pretty self involved. When I was finally able lift my head and notice my surroundings again, I noticed which room she was in. I could not help but notice that she was having a very difficult time.
I left her alone at first but on one of my circuits around, I entered her room to say hi. She told me she had been unable to sleep and unable to eat (no one on that floor with these types of surgery was eating) and she expressed a real loss of hope.
After a couple minutes of conversation, I mentioned that I wanted to share the book with her. She was certain that she would not be able to read. I insisted that I had finished it and if she could not read it then, she could take it home because I had no further need of it. She was asleep as I took my next trip around and I quietly dropped it off along with a small vase of flowers from my collection.
Here is the point of my story. The very next morning, I was still in bed when I had a visitor. It was the lady that I have been referring to returning the book. She told me that she had been up all night reading it. She said that she had believed that she would never be able to consider reading in the state she was in but because it was there she opened it and never put it down. The change in her was remarkable. She was up, walking, talking, and so much more firmly alive.
So what caused the change? Was it that she was distracted from her self focus for a short time, was it that someone had cared a little or was it that she had just passed the valley and into the light again. Who knows? I just love the fact that I know it happened and that I was there to see it. In truth, I do not even remember her name and do not think that I would recognize her if I saw her again. We shared a dark journey and we got through to the other side and for that I am truly grateful and a bit inspired by the idea that human contact makes a difference.
In a previous post, I shared that I had a cancer surgery in December of 2007. (It was actually 2006 so please consider this a correction and apology). I have another story to share from that experience.
When I was checking in for my surgery, losing my street clothes in favour of one of those fashionable hospital gowns and getting my intravenous line inserted I shared a room with a woman who was getting ready for her surgery as well.
It was then that I realized the gift I have been given. Some people are gifted with great intelligence or beauty, some have the ability to run marathons or lift great weights but my gift is unique: I am seldom nervous before surgery. As gifts go, this is a pretty good one to have if you have to live a life that will require a few surgeries. In truth it is probably just some form of resignation (like the deer in headlights) but not everyone has this gift. The lady in the room with me was seized by dread. We did not have much time together but we talked, I comforted her as much as possible and promised to see her on the other side (of the surgery of course).
One of the first bedridden nights after my surgery, unable to sleep, I started to read a book given to me by my friend Colleen. It was Chicken Soup for the Christmas Soul. (When giving a book to a friend who will have surgery or who is in the hospital this sort of book with short stories is ideal because they are easy to read and not too taxing. Just adjust the kind of book to their particular tastes.) No matter how hoaky you may consider that kind of literature to be, I loved it at that moment. Little inspirational stories made me laugh and cry and touched me. It also got my mind off my agonies for a few minutes at a time. That – is a real gift.
As I related in my previous story, I was required to walk the hallways after my surgery. With the morphine drip in my spine and a hole in my body, I was pretty self involved. When I was finally able lift my head and notice my surroundings again, I noticed which room she was in. I could not help but notice that she was having a very difficult time.
I left her alone at first but on one of my circuits around, I entered her room to say hi. She told me she had been unable to sleep and unable to eat (no one on that floor with these types of surgery was eating) and she expressed a real loss of hope.
After a couple minutes of conversation, I mentioned that I wanted to share the book with her. She was certain that she would not be able to read. I insisted that I had finished it and if she could not read it then, she could take it home because I had no further need of it. She was asleep as I took my next trip around and I quietly dropped it off along with a small vase of flowers from my collection.
Here is the point of my story. The very next morning, I was still in bed when I had a visitor. It was the lady that I have been referring to returning the book. She told me that she had been up all night reading it. She said that she had believed that she would never be able to consider reading in the state she was in but because it was there she opened it and never put it down. The change in her was remarkable. She was up, walking, talking, and so much more firmly alive.
So what caused the change? Was it that she was distracted from her self focus for a short time, was it that someone had cared a little or was it that she had just passed the valley and into the light again. Who knows? I just love the fact that I know it happened and that I was there to see it. In truth, I do not even remember her name and do not think that I would recognize her if I saw her again. We shared a dark journey and we got through to the other side and for that I am truly grateful and a bit inspired by the idea that human contact makes a difference.
Why is Lying a Just Plain Shitty thing
Lying is a really shitty way to deal with the world. As you can tell, I have strong feelings about it.
Some people say that it just makes life easier. It helps one avoid confrontation or taking ownership of complicated problems and is just more efficient in many circumstances- or so the justification goes.
Here is my argument for why it is so dangerous. We are creatures that share a reality. Lying makes that reality unstable and unreliable for everyone. Once you lie to me, and you know that most lies are uncovered sooner or later, I can no longer trust your version of reality and that undermines not only the relationship that we have but also my certainty about every bit of input you ever made to my life.
Everyone thinks that they can detect deceit but research is quite conclusive in showing that few people can tell when someone else is lying. That goes back to our social nature. We live in societies and our brains are hardwired to help us to rely on each other for survival. The more you are convinced that you can tell when someone is lying, like a cop might be confident in her abilities, the more you are at risk for being fooled. I need my friends' perspective to navigate my way through life. It is like having several sets of binoculars in several different locations on the battle field. My friends help me anticipate the dangers in the environment and in my life and they help me to know whether my perceptions are accurate. Can you imagine the chaos that would ensue on a battle field if an enemy commandeered the binoculars and the microphone when you were being guided across a mine field?
Yes, the example is a bit dramatic but try it on for size. The best friendships are the ones in which you could literally put your life in another's hands. That is why the friendships formed during crises or in traumatic times or over long terms are strong, and stable and life long. Once falsehood is introduced into a relationship, the foundation for everyone shifts. Stereotypes are mechanisms that the brain uses to reduce cognitive load -in other words to reduce the amount of work and processing that we have to do with our limited resources of time and mental processing. Stereotypes are not always bad, in fact they are usually efficient. Once you get a toehold into my heart or life and you have earned my trust, I have a stereotype about you and you do not have to go through the same scrutiny that a stranger must. Upon that foundation, the relationship is erected. When you lie and I discover it, the rug that everything else is built upon shifts and destablizes the whole structure.
Great relationships are based upon mutual respect and trust. These are two very, very valuable treasures. When you lie to me, you steal my understanding of you and of my world and leave me in a certain amount of chaos. You are right if you object that there are kinds of lies that are beneign or meant for good. Even St. Augustine and the philosopher Kant recognized that. In some instances, it does come down to judging intent and forgiveness comes easily. However, when the intent of the lie is to protect oneself at the expense of a friend's world view, I think the meaning is clear.
So, if you are a good person in the habit of telling lies of convenience, please consider this point of view and try an experiment. We really can get into habits of lying as the easy way out. Try going one day and promising yourself that you will not tell a single lie. If that goes well, try a week. Take note of whether there is a fundamental change in the way you experience your life and check closely to see if your relationships are likewise affected.
Some people say that it just makes life easier. It helps one avoid confrontation or taking ownership of complicated problems and is just more efficient in many circumstances- or so the justification goes.
Here is my argument for why it is so dangerous. We are creatures that share a reality. Lying makes that reality unstable and unreliable for everyone. Once you lie to me, and you know that most lies are uncovered sooner or later, I can no longer trust your version of reality and that undermines not only the relationship that we have but also my certainty about every bit of input you ever made to my life.
Everyone thinks that they can detect deceit but research is quite conclusive in showing that few people can tell when someone else is lying. That goes back to our social nature. We live in societies and our brains are hardwired to help us to rely on each other for survival. The more you are convinced that you can tell when someone is lying, like a cop might be confident in her abilities, the more you are at risk for being fooled. I need my friends' perspective to navigate my way through life. It is like having several sets of binoculars in several different locations on the battle field. My friends help me anticipate the dangers in the environment and in my life and they help me to know whether my perceptions are accurate. Can you imagine the chaos that would ensue on a battle field if an enemy commandeered the binoculars and the microphone when you were being guided across a mine field?
Yes, the example is a bit dramatic but try it on for size. The best friendships are the ones in which you could literally put your life in another's hands. That is why the friendships formed during crises or in traumatic times or over long terms are strong, and stable and life long. Once falsehood is introduced into a relationship, the foundation for everyone shifts. Stereotypes are mechanisms that the brain uses to reduce cognitive load -in other words to reduce the amount of work and processing that we have to do with our limited resources of time and mental processing. Stereotypes are not always bad, in fact they are usually efficient. Once you get a toehold into my heart or life and you have earned my trust, I have a stereotype about you and you do not have to go through the same scrutiny that a stranger must. Upon that foundation, the relationship is erected. When you lie and I discover it, the rug that everything else is built upon shifts and destablizes the whole structure.
Great relationships are based upon mutual respect and trust. These are two very, very valuable treasures. When you lie to me, you steal my understanding of you and of my world and leave me in a certain amount of chaos. You are right if you object that there are kinds of lies that are beneign or meant for good. Even St. Augustine and the philosopher Kant recognized that. In some instances, it does come down to judging intent and forgiveness comes easily. However, when the intent of the lie is to protect oneself at the expense of a friend's world view, I think the meaning is clear.
So, if you are a good person in the habit of telling lies of convenience, please consider this point of view and try an experiment. We really can get into habits of lying as the easy way out. Try going one day and promising yourself that you will not tell a single lie. If that goes well, try a week. Take note of whether there is a fundamental change in the way you experience your life and check closely to see if your relationships are likewise affected.
Losing - In this case Money and security
Matt Weinstein was a victim of the Bernie Madoff scan. He and his wife lost their life savings. Thus, he comes from an experience of financial loss. How did he get past the rotten feelings about it? Here is his story and advice on how to get past loss.
Memory and Mood
Mood Congruent Memory
You may not be familiar with this term. Mood congruent memory explains why there is a cascade of similar memories when you are feeling disappointment or sadness. Memory retention appears to be enhanced when emotional stimuli are present. Neuro-chemical activity seems to increase the efficiency of the brain areas responsible for encoding memories unless the flood of neurotransmitters is extreme. In the case of trauma, memory may be mercifully impaired.
I am sharing this because it explains why you are flooded with sad memories when you are depressed or fearful memories when you are afraid. It is the condition that makes us think in great generalities like: my life has always been awful or the entire world is a scary place. It is something that, if recognized, could give us a clue to some answers.
What got me thinking about this is something that just occurred last night. I had written the story of my cancer surgery and my memories of the hospital. If you read it, you might have noticed that being in the hospital and the stresses involved in that triggered the memory (for both me and for my kids) of being there when my grandmother was dying. Here is an update. Last night as I wrote a follow up story about that time in the hospital, I was also motivated to make a batch of soup that I have not had in years- a kind of scotch broth that my grandmother used to make and my mother never made. I have not had it since I was about ten years old- decades ago- but I suddenly had a craving for it. It is the taste of my grandmother’s house- an environment of contentment and belonging.
You may think that the memory was triggered by sadness but in fact, the memory of the soup came out of a feeling of goodness and comfort. What I remember of my time in the hospital is most informed by the kindness that I experienced and the gratitude for profound awareness of others that I received at that time.
I intend this site to be anything but Polyanna-ish. Putting bandaids on wounds is not my intent. I aspire to something far better for all of us. However, the facts say that changing what you can to alter your mood helps you to climb to higher – happier ground. So follow Connie Rae Bailey’s advice and put your old records on and see if it makes a difference.
PS: I cannot resist sharing one more insight on memory- a joke on me- as I looked for this music video- it took a while because I thought it was Lily Allen! So much for the perfect accuracy of memory!
You may not be familiar with this term. Mood congruent memory explains why there is a cascade of similar memories when you are feeling disappointment or sadness. Memory retention appears to be enhanced when emotional stimuli are present. Neuro-chemical activity seems to increase the efficiency of the brain areas responsible for encoding memories unless the flood of neurotransmitters is extreme. In the case of trauma, memory may be mercifully impaired.
I am sharing this because it explains why you are flooded with sad memories when you are depressed or fearful memories when you are afraid. It is the condition that makes us think in great generalities like: my life has always been awful or the entire world is a scary place. It is something that, if recognized, could give us a clue to some answers.
What got me thinking about this is something that just occurred last night. I had written the story of my cancer surgery and my memories of the hospital. If you read it, you might have noticed that being in the hospital and the stresses involved in that triggered the memory (for both me and for my kids) of being there when my grandmother was dying. Here is an update. Last night as I wrote a follow up story about that time in the hospital, I was also motivated to make a batch of soup that I have not had in years- a kind of scotch broth that my grandmother used to make and my mother never made. I have not had it since I was about ten years old- decades ago- but I suddenly had a craving for it. It is the taste of my grandmother’s house- an environment of contentment and belonging.
You may think that the memory was triggered by sadness but in fact, the memory of the soup came out of a feeling of goodness and comfort. What I remember of my time in the hospital is most informed by the kindness that I experienced and the gratitude for profound awareness of others that I received at that time.
I intend this site to be anything but Polyanna-ish. Putting bandaids on wounds is not my intent. I aspire to something far better for all of us. However, the facts say that changing what you can to alter your mood helps you to climb to higher – happier ground. So follow Connie Rae Bailey’s advice and put your old records on and see if it makes a difference.
PS: I cannot resist sharing one more insight on memory- a joke on me- as I looked for this music video- it took a while because I thought it was Lily Allen! So much for the perfect accuracy of memory!
Daniel Ariel and Moral Code
Daniel Ariel and Moral Code
Daniel was burned over 70% of his body and suffered in the hospital for many months. He is an inspirational speaker with important things to say.
Daniel was burned over 70% of his body and suffered in the hospital for many months. He is an inspirational speaker with important things to say.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
J. K. Rowling- Commencement Address YOU need to hear
I copied the video of the speach JK Rowling gave at the Harvard commencement 2008 below. I was amazed to learn more about her life experiences and her passion for Amnesty International. She called it " the Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination" but it goes far beyond just that lesson. It is quite inspiring and I truly want you to be inspired in your own life! After all, today is the commencement of the rest of your life!
J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.
J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.
Your Brain on Joy
The Opportunity from Adversity
I was planning to wait and give you a bit of time to digest the amazing videos that I have found to share but I am so inspired that I had to share another. After all, when you need answers you usually need them now.
What if we began to see the challenges of our lives as the events that mold us into the people we are meant to become? What if individual challenges are the tools that help us shed the extraneous and like the marble that Michelangelo wrestled with to release the beauty within?
Please take the time to view this inspirational woman and next time, I will tell you a story of my own life that taught me something grand.
How to Read Minds
This video is fascinating and teaches us that there is a brain region that helps us to judge what other people are thinking or reasoning. This young neuroscientist is making an amazing contribution to what we understand of people and their thought processes. Have a look.
If you need a bit of help interpreting what I am thinking and why I am sharing this: I am sharing bits and pieces of information to enlighten what ever we discuss and/or to help us understand ourselves.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
This Too Shall Pass
Take a look and see if this is cheering. The lyrics send a timeless message: This too shall pass.
Whether joyful or painful, the moment is fleeting.
Why then does the painful seem to last so much longer? Our brains give negative information twice as much attention as pleasant input. Why then would we be made that way? I think the answer is easy to guess. Pleasure and pleasant things are unlikely to harm us while things that cause pain just might!
Knowing that should help us to be a bit more patient in the darker times and anticipate the dawn as this song suggests.
Proximal Development
Lev Vygotsky
I remember telling my children when they were little and an adult had behaved badly, disappointing or astounding the child that we all had to understand that no body grows up all at once. I tried to help them understand that human maturity looked more like a bar graph. I told them some people could have great big bodies but that in kindness they could be very small. One person could be amazing in math but not as good at public speaking. Another could be a great artist but poor at sharing.
The point is that the video above refers to a concept of proximal learning. We all, no matter what stage of life we are at can learn from others and their accomplishments. Someone may find it easy to do what you find hard to do. Observe. Learn. If they are willing buddy up and trade skills and or get instruction from them.
The purpose of this site is to provide resources that might give us an 'ah ha' moment or a glimpse of a door in the wall that is blocking your advancement.
I remember telling my children when they were little and an adult had behaved badly, disappointing or astounding the child that we all had to understand that no body grows up all at once. I tried to help them understand that human maturity looked more like a bar graph. I told them some people could have great big bodies but that in kindness they could be very small. One person could be amazing in math but not as good at public speaking. Another could be a great artist but poor at sharing.
The point is that the video above refers to a concept of proximal learning. We all, no matter what stage of life we are at can learn from others and their accomplishments. Someone may find it easy to do what you find hard to do. Observe. Learn. If they are willing buddy up and trade skills and or get instruction from them.
The purpose of this site is to provide resources that might give us an 'ah ha' moment or a glimpse of a door in the wall that is blocking your advancement.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Starting with Almost Nothing
Gravité from Renaud Hallée on Vimeo.
Please take a look at this video 'Gravité' from Renaud Hallée on Vimeo.
I am amazed that he could create something really interesting from almost nothing by seeing (and hearing) things in a novel way.
Monday, April 12, 2010
You are like Stained Glass
“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
