Thanks Giving

There are times when it is harder to make a gratitude list. When that happens, I find it helpful to remember all of the blessings that I have had in my life especially at times when I was happier. The first Christmas after my divorce when the kids were not with me and I was devastated, I flew out to have Christmas with a maternal aunt. I was struggling to find perspective and a hopeful vision for my future but all I could see in the grey days leading up to a BC Christmas was what I had lost. Then, the Sunday before Christmas some light broke through my clouded mind and I was able to reflect on how many wonderful Christmases I had experienced in my married life- and there were many- even the Christmas I got out of the hospital on Christmas Eve after my cancer surgery was magical. Remembering how many, many Christmases I had savoured and celebrated - the gleeming eyes of joyful children, the Christmas Eves spent with the man I loved in preparation for the mornings of ecstatic squeals, the stockings, the excitement of unselfish children watching with shining hope as a sibling unwrapped the gift that they had chosen for them,  made me remember how many people never have a great Christmas and I felt somehow restored. In realizing that we can never have everything and that when the balance sheet reads on the positive side I should be grateful was helpful to me. It changed my attitude and I felt better.